Wednesday, February 20, 2008
May your heart be as big as the brains of a very clever Burmese cat.
I am Tubbs and I am slightly intimidated
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Monday, January 28, 2008
I take myself into a dark corner, smile and dream of smelly cheese
I drape myself in a purple furoshki
and read books by nobakov and listen to Tchaikovsky
I may be small I may be hairy but my taste in culture is impeccable and scary
may peach blossom petals cool your sweaty brows.
Thursday, December 6, 2007
May the heat of summer fill your reservoirs of fecundity.
Enough about Kaye ....What about ME Tubbs. It is my Blog after all.
What about all those poor Australians who nearly got hurt on their trip to the Antarctic!
NO WAY!!! Not Aussies!
Who gives a rats flying arse bum about all those frivolous idiots trying to sail their way to freedom when Howard was in power? If only they could all speak English.
Thats right I am Tubbs and I am sarcastic and it is the lowest for of wit but I am VERY short!
Tubbs.............Feck! Kaye is really attractive right now!
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Thunder claps of love may seep into your pores.
Monday, December 3, 2007
May the thunder of happiness and love shatter your foundations eternally
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
Friday, September 28, 2007
But i am Tubbs and have a tendency to sarcasm. Forgive me.
Monday, September 10, 2007
Thursday, September 6, 2007
Saturday, August 18, 2007
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Saturday, June 30, 2007
Love from me and Johnny and Tubbs and vivian and eric and bobo and Bob and Dad and Tony and Oldy and Dah and Kath aand Nana and Fred and Aunty Gwen and Mary and Jeff and Betty and Venla and Sian and Johnathan and every one who has ever loved you.xxxxxxxxxx
Monday, June 25, 2007
Look at him there. Sleeping without a care in the world. Its not called Burmese Chihuahua for nothing you know! At times it feels like I'm the one doing all the work. That might explain the worried look I've always got on my face. Lately I've been doing my part for the community by visiting old people with dementia. They are almost like normal people but they are old and mental. Not that there is anything wrong with that. In fact I quite like them , they are always pleased to see me and they laugh no matter how many times I tell my polar bear joke. I like the way they dress and its always warm where they live. It makes you realize that life is all about something but it's not about being rich or famous or a wanka. That's Chihuahuanese for ......wanka.
I am Tubbs and may your decrepitude be bountiful with loving people.
Saturday, June 23, 2007
Monday, June 4, 2007
Anger and despair anger and despair I've got a silver frock(dress) so I don't care. This is the new Tubbs. Hideho I'm Tubsie and I'm back. From out of space and your here to find me here with that look upon my face I should have changed that stupid lock I should have thrown away the key if I thought for just one second you'd be back to bother me so now go go out the door I'm going through the anger stage cause I'm over the denial stage and I'm not sure what the next stage is perhaps it's bargaining but I don't care anymore 'cause I'm Tubbs.
Oh dear Leeeeeerd I almost forgot it rained it rained it rained it rained yay yay yay yay yay the river is full again and the ground is green again and all is almost well with the world.
May words of kindness tunnel their way into your speech. Always
Saturday, June 2, 2007
I have returned from the avalanch of life. My Father died just over a month ago and it took three weeks of hospital visits watching him wither away before my eyes. My pillar and living thesaurus and spell check has gone to his maker the big polar bear in the sky. Whilst all this was going on my mothers dementia was rapidly taking a turn for the bizarre which culminated in not much sleep for me. I write today for the first time as myself and not as Tubbs because she too has been unwell. Beware of Aprils and Mays I say!! She managed to find herself a rotting ecoli ridden carcus or droppings(so much for her past time) and so is now on a special diet and antibiotics. My mum on the other hand is physicaally healthier than all of us put together and the nine hour car trip from Gosford to Wangaratta was very very high tension to say the least....Thank god for Tamazipan. I'm not one to normally condone knocking old people out with meds but in this case it was a matter of keping her in the car.
Anyway we made it and I felt like th worst daughter in the world when we had to drop her off at the dementia unit of the hospital But as people kept telling me I needed to get some sleep. Its taken over a month but she is settling down...a bit.
We are converting the old tobbacco shed into a studio so expect much more natty artsy fartsy stuff from moi. This may be the only time I write as myself so be prepared for the return of angry Tubbs. She gets angry easily.
May the petals of cherry blossoms tickle you in all your crevices of hate.
Saturday, March 17, 2007
Long tome no speaky(to myself)
Something about a sore spine preventing the human from sitting in front of the computah for more than 30seconds.....Meet little white elephant and Kewpie. They are a couple of funny fellows. Right now the little white elephant is saying,"HA ha ha ha ha Oh! Kewpie, that's a really funny story, how big did you say it was?"
Yeah they are a couple of real comedians.
You will all be pleased to hear that the nights are almost getting cooler(2nights in a row!) although the days are still a bit hot. It tried to rain again but not enough to crack open the crack about. Speaking of crack...Anna Nichole Smith has really taken over the chook pen. I have a sneaking suspicion she may be non gender specific, if you know what I mean.....No not that there is anything wrong with that. I read over some of my older bloggs and I'm a bit worried that I might be coming across as a complete mental. But remember....I'm very hairy.
Autumn breezes are whispering around my ear follicles.
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Meet Anna Nicole Smith our latest addition to the chook fraternity. Yes she is Buxom and she speaks her mind in so many unthinkable ways. Yet she is one of the lucky ones. For we have trapped and sent 4 feral cats and one fox to a watery grave and someone (not us, ran over another one of the cats on the bridge. ...The rickety bridge)
There was Ren and Stimpy, Frieda and Carlo and Ivon and Carlo2 and so many more. Now the Chickens are all safe but we keep the trap set just in case!!!! I understand that this kind of killing is justified not only because it saves so many chooks but also native animals.Cats and foxes are imported and they are killing many native spicies.Vivian has never been ouside.
love and kindness to you all, they are not a sign of weekness but strength,
I have a very hairy arse
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
I can't remember wether I have shown this painting before. Thats because I have a brain like a siv due to my miss spent youth. It is a painting called "The Angel of Queen Street"
Thats Queen St. in Sydney. Its full of very very rich people who sit at roadside cafes talking loudly. I lived at the poorend of that street for a while,(only in spirit because I wasn't born yet....(Remember I am a slightly angry young chihuahua)
So anyway there I was mixing it with the scum of the earth with Jed the one wot came befor me.(Dog Wise)When an angel walked infront of a ZX9R kawasaki bloody buggery convertable Rolls Royce!
So now you see what I see.
May you come to understand your ghosty maker
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Friday, February 9, 2007
Remember, before the calm there comes the storm and every one should bloody well take a deep breath and dear god I hope no one attacks Iran cause then all hell will break loose.
Tuesday, February 6, 2007
Life is indeed a mysterious and wonderful thing.
I am Vivian and I am the LOVE Monkey of Beat Takeshi.......It's official!
Sunday, February 4, 2007
The fires are back and it's been 40c in the shade again. Whilst I try and try to imagine a cooler wetter place it ends up looking like Jakarta. That's in Indonesia where 75% of the capital is under water. The cracks in the ground are getting bigger and its getting dustier here. On a lighter note we caught the feral cat wot ate some of our chickens. Sooty was his name. And this morning a fox went to his watery grave too. Maybe soon all our chickens will be safe. Maybe soon the fires will cease. Maybe soon it will rain. Maybe soon people will stop fighting. I am Tubbs and I am worried but what good does it do? And I still think George Bush is a turd.... (Definition of a turd: segment of a faeces.) That's right he's not even a full sample of fiscal matter. He's not the full turd. Speaking of turds how about that George Bush Junior?. Ooops sorry I was already talking about that turd. And why does he speak in half sentences? Is he just reafferming that he is not the full turd? That he is a fellaffel short of a kebab? That there is a kangaroo loose in his top paddock? That he is a sandwhich short of a picnic? Ah but as usual I have said too much.
May raindrops of truth fall upon you thoughts
Saturday, February 3, 2007
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Its summer and I'm happy cause the winter is a far away thing and the children they are laughing cause there's a new TARGET in town . We can buy our brand new undies (under wear) and be as happy as happy can be and I am Tubbsie, ate all my dinner and the wine is tasting good. (Please remember to drink irresponsibly)
I give you a ball of golden thread, do with it what you will.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Gentleness and kindness is what I'm all aboooot. But that mangie little cat Vivian keeps sticking his tongue up my snout....It's really my nose but that doesn't rhyme with abooot. Messages come to me from on high but Vivian just bites my thigh....
May the orange feet of demons stamp out your sorrows
Monday, January 29, 2007
They are melting. They are melting. Is anyone listening? Personally I just like looking at this picture because it reminds me that somewhere it is cool and somewhere there is water. Last night we looked at a meteor in the southern sky that is only ever going to pass us once. By US I don't mean the evil Disney empire I mean the planeeet Earth. What ever you do, save water because one of these days you will be all lathered up and the reservoir will run out. I'm Not joking. You know I don't joke because I am a Hairy Chihuahua.
May mauve eyed angels of understanding laugh at all your peccadillo's
Sunday, January 28, 2007
Peace to you and may crystal threads always lead you back to your loved ones
Monday, January 15, 2007
I can't be bothered with Joseph Hibiscus today because he can be a right pain in the bum. I still can't get over that fantastic poo I rolled in the other day shame no one else shares my refined pallet.
But as you know I am a very very cross little chihuahua
May the mirth of a thousand angels warm your cockles in the winter of your desolations...
Sunday, January 14, 2007
Saturday, January 13, 2007
The smoke is very heavy again and there are blowflies galore. I went for a walk and found some primo poo and rolled in it which was just great and I got promptly taken to the river for a bath.......I feel like a pearl before swine sometimes, no one appreciates my refined connoisseur's tastes.
Friday, January 12, 2007
Well that's true. The latest update with the chicken/feral cat scenario goes like this......A large trap has been set, five chicken thighs have been planted as bait and the wheelie bin has been filled with water in preparation. The last two remaining chooks have been christened Yvon and Carlo for obvious reasons which I am far too gallant to go into and basically it's still fopping hot. If you are sick of all my winging and whining and strangely beguiling swearing technique about the fires and the heat and so forth spare a thought for ME! The painting is a picture of a photo of a painting of the spirit of Jed,(of the Domain Art Critic fame...) Yes, maybe his sexual orientation was ambiguous and yes, perhaps he enjoyed bandannas and Dusty Springnutts a little too much but so what, get your laws and paws off my bum I say!
May the flames of love lap at the skirt tales of you favorite swimming frock.
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Christ on a bycicle it's hot today!!! 40c in the shade so I am indoors avoiding the snakes and watching The Bill. I think I could make a great Inspector.....Inspector Tubbs...mmmmm
But that would take away from my true destiny as a player for the SOCCEROOS!!!!! Don't mention the word Totti in my house!
Alas she whom I adore has gone to far away Melbourne for a week and I am left to keep the peace. I hope you are all well and I will anwer you soon but my paws are having difficulty with the mailing system at the moment.
May moonbeams of joy cascade upon your alabaster bottoms.
Sunday, January 7, 2007
That's Elton John on the far left, you have all met him in a previous blog. Behind him that's George Michael and next to George is Madonna. George Michael has two first names and Madonna only has one. Gina Lollobrigida is the red one with one eye then there is Cindy Lauper in the spots and finally its little Anthony Calea of the Australian Idol fame. They are a happy go lucky crowd of scamps who get up to all kinds of mischief.......Actually they are a sad substitute for living beings who I might forge a meaningful relationship with.
And the other photo is a picture of my favorite part of our house. Its the part of the house that is ignored and cast aside but I like it. I like the dress too.
May the Angels of peace cast their breath upon you.